Sara Lee · Psychotherapist · Couples therapy
Some couples fight and some go silent. Others become best friends who run a life together.
Some pursue. And others withdraw.
I help you see the pattern keeping you apart.
Then we work with it until you can meet each other differently.
Because you don’t have a relationship problem.
You have a pattern.
20 minutes, online. No preparation needed.
Sara Lee · Psychotherapist · Couples therapy · Online and at Casa Eden, Andalusia
The pattern
An argument that cuts deep because it’s the same stupid script playing itself out.
A silence that freezes everything between you.
Or a polite conversation that never gets close enough to touch what’s actually there.
Again and again.
You touch less.
You say less.
You’ve promised to do better.
And still you end up in the same place.
Emotionally. Physically.
Sometimes the conflict isn’t the problem.
It’s what neither of you knows how to say underneath it.
You don’t just need to decide whether to stay.
You need to know what you’re staying for.
Desire
Couples don’t fall out of love. They stop reaching.
Desire doesn’t die. It goes silent when reaching starts to feel dangerous. My work is to make the room safe enough to tell the truth, and bold enough to ask for it.
In how you talk. In how you touch. In how you look at each other.
Where it starts
It often started much earlier.
In what you learned you had to do to stay close.
This isn’t about whether you had a good or a bad childhood.
It’s more complex than that.
You learned to keep the peace.
Be easy. Be strong. Need less.
Or fight for attention.
Those strategies may have helped you once.
But what protected you then can get in the way now.
Under the anger, there may be a need.
Under the withdrawal, a fear.
Under the distance, a longing.
This is where the deeper work begins.
Explore the emotional needs underneath your patterns, and what it means to give them a place in your life and relationships.
Because what if what you feel is missing is something you were never taught to have?
The Needs Re‑Set™A course for understanding the emotional needs beneath your reactions and relationships, and learning what it means to make room for them.
The responsible one.
The strong one.
The peacekeeper.
The one who needs nothing.
You didn’t choose these patterns. You learned them.
Take the assessmentDiscover the patterns you may have learned, and how they could be showing up in your life and relationships today.
Where to begin
For couples
Reconnecting with each other.
Understanding the patterns between you, what drives your reactions, and how to create a different experience of being together.
“Why do we keep doing this to each other?”
A structured three-month programme for couples done managing the distance, and ready to close it. Together we find what’s driving the pattern, and what each of you can do instead.
Online, or as a private intensive at Casa Eden.
The Relationship RoomFor women
Reconnecting with yourself.
Understanding your feelings, recognising your needs and finding your voice.
When your partner isn’t ready for help, but you are.
From the most responsible person in the room to the most alive.
For the woman who has spent years holding everything together, asking for less, and putting her own needs last.
You can begin here.
The ReclamationNot sure which is right for you? Book a free conversation
Casa Eden · Andalusia, Spain
Private couples intensives in the Andalusian countryside, at the house where I live.
Fully private
In their words
“Through working with Sara, I gained a new understanding of myself. I now feel calmer, more confident, and free from the limitations that once held me back. It has been invaluable for both my personal growth and my relationships. With greater self-awareness, I’ve dared to open up more and I see both myself and the world in a new light. Now I can choose my own path forward as my strongest, most conscious self.”
“Working with Sara has been transformative. I’ve not only identified the patterns driving my thoughts and actions, but I’ve also gained clarity on why they exist and how they get triggered. This awareness has helped me take control in moments where I would have previously felt overwhelmed. Now I have tools to manage my reactions, and more importantly, the self-compassion I was missing.”
“We can really recommend Couples Intensive at Casa Eden to couples who want to develop together, find their way back to each other, or deepen their relationship. For us, it became a fresh start and a source of hope and new energy!”
The person doing the work
PsychotherapistEFT-informed couples therapy
I don’t fix your relationship.
I help you meet each other.
What happens to us when love matters?
For more than 20 years I have tried to understand what shapes us. Why we adapt, protect, achieve and sometimes lose touch with ourselves. Today I work with couples and individuals online, and with couples privately at Casa Eden.
Do you love your partner?
Then show up for the love.
You don’t need the right words. Just the honest ones. Tell me what keeps happening, as a couple or on your own, and I’ll help you find where to begin.
Book a free conversation20 minutes, online. As a couple or on your own.
The newsletter
Insights into love, relationships and the patterns that shape how we connect. From Sara, straight to your inbox.
Subscribers also get a short voice note from Sara with every letter.